Saturday, August 4, 2012

Late At Night And Deep Under Water

The Board often conducts its business late at night and deep under water.  The sometimes placid surface of the waters conceals the busy activity of the Board beneath.

At one such meeting beneath a moonlit bay, fervent discussion of common questions confronting writers occupied the Board.  Impassioned debates concerning style, tone, plot, themes and devices heated an already stifling boardroom.  Alliances were made, broken, and reformed.  Votes were taken, some carrying motions and some defeating.

Of the resolutions surviving that night, the Board resolved to publish one, as follows:

Resolved: the Almuni Advisory Board shall endeavor to explain contemporary references that appear prominently in its publications as though they had occurred in the distant past and faded from public memory.  That is, to explain references that should not need explanation for most contemporary readers.  The timing and details of such explanations shall be left to the discretion of the Publishing Member, subject to oversight of the Board.

The Board, while conceding that explanations of commonly understood references will be be tedious for contemporary readers, believes such notes will enable greater understanding of the Board's messages in the far future.  Dear reader, you are forewarned.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

About The University

There is of course no such institution as the University of The Wandering Brethren (UWB).  It is entirely fictional.  Any resemblances to actual institutions are merely coincidental, perhaps artfully or metaphorically so; and alternative meanings of acronyms are to be entirely disregarded.  For example, the fact that UWB also stands for "Under Water Baby," "Unidentified Whizzing Bombs," or "Ultimate Wizards of Bestiny" is to be entirely ignored.  "Bestiny," by the way, means "best destiny."

With the disclaimers out of the way, a bit of background is in order for any of the uninitiated or non-alumni who may happen to to stumble across this blog.   As for the alumni, you know who you are, and WELCOME!

The UWB like the grander universities of western civilizations is old and venerable, with many campuses located in the many places, where ever the Brethren were prone to wander.  The Board is not cognizant of all such campuses, nor could any human be.  The UWB keeps no official records; never has, and never will.  Such records are not exactly forbidden, but serve no purpose to the administrators of the University and are simply never kept.  The UWB owns no property of the sort for which recorded titles are necessary, and deals strictly on a cash basis.  There is no nefarious purpose behind the secrecy and rootlessness which with the UWB conducts its affairs.  It has simply preferred to avoid the entanglements of titled property and accumulated wealth as serving no purpose, much like the official records that it never keeps.  Naturally, the discretion with which the UWB carries out its affairs has sometimes served to protect its stakeholders from the predations of those who would do them harm.

Written records of the UWB are therefore sketchy, unofficial, and not to be trusted.  This blog is no exception; in fact, it makes no claim to be an official record of anything.  The Board, who are solely responsible for the grandiose title "Alumni Advisory Board," are not alumni of the UWB.  That the Board might presume to advise the alumni is laughable.  The most the Board can claim is an association with the UWB, by which some of their number have learned parts of the UWB's curriculum, but, sadly, have not achieved mastery of any part of it.  The Board could fairly be considered a sort of residue, human flotsam and jetsam rinsed to and fro in the surf of a lonely isle, while the alumni have passed on to greater things.  None of the Board are currently enrolled; enrollment would bar them participating in any unauthorized activities such as those leading to these words you read.

The UWB admits humans regardless of gender, and the use of "Brethren" is not meant to suggest any sort of "ism" based on gender or social constructs.

Having gone on a bit too long about the nature and habits of the UWB without providing any actual history, this entry may well be finished without providing so much as a single date.  The UWB is old, perhaps exactly as old as history itself.  The reader who guesses that if official records are not kept by the UWB, then dates would also be lacking: that reader guesses correctly.  Nonetheless there are a few dates of Ultimate Significance, and perhaps this post is best finished by providing one of them: Zero.